Better Than One

I really do not like conflict at church, work, or home.  But being involved in all three, I realize that you cannot avoid conflict in any ongoing situation.  You can be careful and not step on hidden mines but eventually one will get you.  How do you handle conflict?  Do you enjoy conflict?  I have been with people at work, church and couples in  marriage who delight being involved in conflict.  Some times we get touched or drawn into their mess.

In the Leadership Team at Kentucky Baptist Convention, we have great, prepared, and experienced leaders who will provide conflict resolution with your congregation.  It takes time, energy, and willingness to put everything on the table and have a third party assist you in looking and listening to yourself.  It is not an easy process.  Karl Babb can assist you in this area.

Have you thought about being conflict proactive with your congregation.  Instead of reacting to conflict in the body, why not better prepare your people to handle conflict.  When I supervised other staff members, I always discussed conflict in our initial meeting.  I told them we would have conflict at some point or other so I wanted them to know how we could approach conflict with each other.  In the first 6 weeks at a church, I think the pastor should have a conflict sermon.  If you are beyond that early stage, preach a conflict sermon once every year.  It could help your people better  relate and love each other.

Most congregations and people want to use Matthew 18:15-19 as the foundation to handle conflict in the body, but I think Matthew 18:20-21 does a better job at simplifying what is needed to resolve conflict.  Forgiveness is at the heart of moving beyond conflict to unity.  Many other scriptures talk about right Christian attitudes that we need to present and shared.  The body is a family of God that needs to be transparent to the community.  They do not need to be called dysfunctional and a congregation that is always arguing. 

Three G’s for Confrontation

1. Glorify God(I Cor. 10:31)  You can glorify God even in the midst of conflict.  “How can I please and honor the Lord in this situation?”
2. Get the log out of your own eye (Matt. 7:5)  Before you confront, ask yourself if you have a critical, negative, or overly sensitive attitude that has led to unnecessary conflict.
3. Gently Restore(Gal. 6:1)  Remember to:  Pray for humility and wisdom – Plan your words carefully – Choose the right time and place – Ask for feedback form the other person and listen carefully – Recognize your limits (only God can change people)  Rom. 12:18,  2 Tim. 2:24-26  Condensed from “The Four G’s” found on www.PeaceMaker.net

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus”  Phil. 2:5

This entry was posted by Glen Cummins on Monday, June 7th, 2010 at 3:36 pm and is filed under Comeback Churches. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.